After the dinner, I went back to my room as usual. I used to share my room with Laird, but since now I was old enough to have my own room, my mom decided to empty one of our dirty rooms and make it my own room. It was the biggest gift from my mom. My room became my private space where I spent most of my time. It was not very much decorated or anything. It was a simple, empty room only with basic furniture such as a wooden desk, a bed, an antique closet and a bookshelf which my grandmother used to use.
In my room, I started thinking about what my dad said. He said, “She’s only a girl.” I know I am a girl and I can’t change that. I used to hate that I am a girl. Since I had to help my dad’s work instead of my brother who was too young, I guess I thought that being treated like a boy was better than being treated as a girl. My mom came into my room while I was having this thought.
“Hey, mom,” I said.
“Hello darling. Do you have a moment?” she said.
I said “of course,” so we started having a talk. It was about the “boys and girls” thing as I expected.
My mom started with the story of her growing up.
“You know, I grew up in a family of two older brothers and a younger sister who was a lot younger than me. My brothers were the ones to do the labour and I was the one to do all the chores in the house which include taking care of my sister, doing the laundry, helping my mom making dinner and other stuff.
Unlike the younger brother who used to tease me and bother me, the older one was always so nice and understanding. He knew how hard doing the house work was. He always thanked me and my mom for doing the works, even though he himself must have been doing hard labour that needs physical strength. If it weren’t for him, I might have hated being a girl like you, since I would have been stressed out of doing the house works without any appreciation.
As you might have figured out, my job in the family made me a stereotypical girl as a helper of the house, but I have always done it since I was young, so I never doubted or hated the fact.”
I interrupted her because I thought she didn’t understand my problem. So I said,
“But mom, it’s not that I hate doing the work in the house. I don’t love doing it, but it’s not the reason why I act unlike the other girls. I just can’t stand grandmother and other older people telling me to act like a girl. What is it to act like a girl? Is it not to slam the doors or to sit with your knees together? Who made those rules? It makes me feel weak and disregarded.”
My mom seemed a bit confused. She must have thought that I just hated doing the laundry or washing dishes.
“Honey, but boys and girls are different. You just have to admit that fact. Boys are stronger than girls. There must be some exceptions, but it is an unchangeable fact for the most people. Which means, what boys and girls do and how boys and girls behave is different. You might consider it unfair when you are not allowed to do certain things. However, you will definitely benefit from the fact that you are a girl. Like today! Don’t you think that you would have been punished for what you’ve done today if you weren’t a girl? Also, when your dad said you’re just a girl, you didn’t say anything. You didn’t want to get punished, right?”
“I guess that’s true……. “
“Yes. You might think there are more restrictions for girls, but there are some for boys as well! They should not be talkative, should have muscle, should act bravely and boldly, and more and more. Girls and boys are different for sure, so they have different rules. It’s not to say which one is weaker or stronger, or respected or disrespected. Maybe in the future, people might change the limits for girls and boys. But in this society you are living in right now, you just have to admit it honey.”
To be honest, it still doesn’t quite make sense to me. But I started realizing that I just need to admit it as my mom told me so. Overall, it isn’t too bad being a girl if it weren’t for my grandmother. I am a girl and my brother is a boy. We are different and treated differently, but we cannot change anything about it and what both of us are doing is respected and appreciated.
